FAQs

Family mediation offers a method of resolving family disputes whilst avoiding the expense and acrimony of going to Court. In family mediation the mediator helps participants communicate in a non-confrontational setting, either in person or online, identifying the issues, concerns and generating possible options and agreement on matters relating to the separation of the family, including childcare arrangements, finances, and housing.

Yes, this is now the majority of our work. We use Google Meet.

Family mediation can be very effective and powerful in breaking deadlock and providing practical solutions and a variety of options in all the practical aspects of separation and divorce. For this to happen clients need to be able to contribute equally to the process, and be willing to work together, using the help of a trained and impartial mediator, to find a resolution that best fits all involved.

Mediation clients are all asked to sign an ‘Agreement to Mediate’ before the first joint meeting. This sets out the way the process will be conducted and your responsibilities as a participant.

Family mediation is typically used to help separated individuals reach agreements regarding issues arising from their separation. It should be differentiated from couple counselling which may be considered in addressing issues within the relationship.

No. Mediation can work for married and unmarried ex-partners, those in a civil partnership or any relationship which has broken down where people want to work out a resolution.

Mediation is suitable for most sorts of family disputes. However, there are circumstances where mediation either isn’t suitable or appropriate. Suitability for mediation is discussed at your first 1:1 confidential MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) or intake meeting. The trained mediator will be able to consider the situation at the separate and confidential intake meetings with each client. It is only after both those meetings that a decision will be taken to progress to a joint session (in person or online).

Yes. Family mediation is an entirely voluntary procedure. Individuals cannot be compelled to attend family mediation. However, if located in England and Wales and wishing to apply to Court, they must consider mediation and prove that they have attended a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) prior to the application.

Yes. Better Mediation deals with cases where one client lives in Scotland and the other lives in either England or Wales. Sessions for English clients are online. If you wish to make a Court application in England or Wales, a MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is generally required before certain family court applications. Better Mediation conducts MIAMs and can sign the relevant court forms, and is approved for the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme; eligibility depends on your circumstances.

Usually, one person approaches the mediation practice initially. They have their MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) or intake meeting and then the other person is contacted for their own MIAM or intake meeting. The mediator keeps the content of these meetings confidential for each person. (This confidentiality does not apply where there is a risk of harm, fraud or a crime, in which case the mediator has a duty to report this to the relevant authorities and/or inform their supervision. This is fully explained by the mediator at the start of each meeting).

The MIAM or intake meetings allow the mediator to gather initial information and assess a situation’s suitability for mediation.

As mentioned above the initial MIAMs (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings) or intake meetings are confidential and the mediator will not discuss the content with the other party. Confidentiality cannot be guaranteed in every circumstance: where a risk of harm, fraud or a crime is disclosed, the mediator has a duty to report this to the relevant authorities and/or inform their supervision. This is fully explained by the mediator at the start of each meeting. A copy of our confidentiality policy is available on request.

In some instances, although a dispute may be suitable for mediation, the clients do not feel able to see/hear each other during the process. In this instance ‘shuttle mediation’ may be offered. There is an additional charge for this process.

Everyone reacts in their own way to what can feel very stressful. We are compassionate, but also know that clients need to make progress. So we will discuss with you in advance how you would like to approach the meeting and, for example, if frequent breaks can help.

We try to be curious and actively engaged in making this process work for all clients. In the case of neurodiversity, please raise this at your MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) or intake meeting and we can discuss what adjustments you feel might help. If this feels awkward, you can ask a trusted friend or family member to attend the initial meeting with you, but you should let the mediator know when you book the session. This may not be possible if mediation then proceeds, but this can be discussed at the initial meeting. Please be aware that whoever you invite to assist you may then hear very personal things about your relationship issues.

Yes. Provided you are not at the same property for the online meeting. It’s important you feel in a confidential space. Let the mediator know at your MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) or intake meeting, as they will need to discuss the implications of still all living together on the process.

On average an ‘all issues’ mediation may take up to 4/5 sessions as finances, pensions, property and child arrangements are all considered. A mediation which concentrates on only child arrangements may take a shorter time. Parties individually attend their confidential MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) or intake meeting with the mediator. After that joint sessions will take place and the number of joint sessions will vary depending on the issues. You receive a short summary of the proposals after each session.

No. Better Mediation does not offer legal advice — mediators cannot offer legal advice. Clients are always wise to seek independent legal advice, in conjunction with mediation where appropriate. The mediator can summarise the proposals agreed in mediation so that you can take them to your own solicitor to formalise them.

Nothing which is said during mediation is legally binding. Matters discussed as options during the process are regarded as being non-binding (or without prejudice) which means they can’t be used later in Court, if this route is taken. Proposals can be summarised by the mediator and then taken to solicitors, to formalise the proposals. An application could then be made to Court to make the agreement legally binding. In England and Wales, mediators use a MOU (Memorandum of Understanding) and OFS (Open Financial Statement) to summarise proposals. These are formats that solicitors require before applying to Court for a Consent Order.

Yes, a detailed plan can be the outcome of a mediation. We work on a Separated Parents Agreement or coparenting plan which sets out your decisions on lots of areas including schooling, child maintenance, health, introduction of new partners, religion etc.

If an agreement can’t be reached, then we’ll point you in the direction of sources of help and advice and explain the next steps open to you. This could include arbitration or negotiation between Solicitors as alternatives to a Court application.

Yes. We offer a free 15-minute call to outline the process to you. This call will give you the background you may need to decide to progress to an initial assessment or intake meeting. Please use the contact form and we will then reply with some suggested times for a call.

There is a charge for mediation. If clients are eligible for Legal Aid, Better Mediation are not able to help. In Scotland, it is possible to appoint a CALM (Scotland) mediator who may be willing to undertake services at legal aid rates. Relationship Scotland are another option, they are a public service and specialise in child related issues only. In England and Wales, we can offer the Family Mediation Voucher which pays for up to £500 of the costs of mediation if child arrangements are part of the mediation discussions. (This cannot be applied to the MIAM meetings (Mediation Information and Assessment Meetings) and some conditions apply.)

Scotland

The fee for the intake meeting is £100.00 per person. Meetings take 45 minutes to 1 hour.

If mediation then proceeds the fee is £150.00 per person/per meeting.

England & Wales

The fee for the compulsory MIAM (Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) is £150 per person (usually 1 hour). If mediation then proceeds the fee is £250 per person/per session, typically 90–100 minutes.

All meetings

Fees must be received at least 2 working days before the date of the meeting.

Meetings can be held online or in-person. For meetings held in person we charge an additional fee of £50.00 per hour. This would be held in our central Edinburgh office.

Cancellation fees apply – details will be supplied on booking the first appointment.